Where to go next?

11737819_10153342501951598_7886205251881225478_nI wanted to share my conundrums about my future here so here it goes…

I have been in my depressed mood lately because as you know, time is near where I have to leave my job here in KSA. I don’t want to renew my contract if you might ask why I’m leaving. For me, two years is enough already and with that, I am facing another life-changing decision, Again!

There will be three excruciating months left for me to decide my next step. At first, I’ve decided to take the IELTS before I leave, so I started reviewing by watching videos online and practicing some test on my off duties. And it keeps me thinking, am I really up to this challenge?  Is this what I really want? What if I am just wasting my precious time with the wrong decision? What do I really want for my future and where? When can I start and how? Now embracing the uncertainties the road I have yet to travel…

If only there is a life plan programmed into our body system where we just have to follow the procedure, then I guess it won’t be difficult for us to make career path decisions. I am still having second thoughts about my choice to push my luck in the UK. Or should I go to UAE instead? Maybe I should just try in KSA again… So it won’t be that difficult,  but then I remembered it’s not on my top priority list. Oh well, maybe I should just forget all of this and let fate handle my future on its own even if I know for a fact that I will still have to face all this in the end.

I am on the edge of my career and was again unable to make a concrete plan for my future. Lost, is the perfect word definition to me right now. Why is it so hard to go to a place like Australia, UK, or UAE. Because those are the places I wanted to go to but for me to go there will take too much effort, time, and of course money! On top of all these pointless dramas, I lack self-confidence which hinders me from achieving my goals. I also don’t have the ability to focus nor do I have the self-discipline to finish a task on hand. That’s why I don’t know if I will still pursue my IELTS test because I am nowhere near in my target band. My self-assessment as for the moment tells me to find another place where the standard of qualifications is much easier to achieve.

So… what now? (deep sighing)

 

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